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07:26 p.m. Saturday, June 21, 2003
I was looking for a video tape to go over today, and found I had a copy of one of those Halfords adverts from earlier this year.
You remember them? There were two I think, the first had a father trying to teach his kid to ride a bike, but the bike was too big for him so he falls off. Halfords then offers to find you the right bike. In the other one, a guy is trying to fit a roof rack, which keeps falling off, and meanwhile his bored wife gets off with the nighbour. Halfords offers to fit it.
I just couldn't beleive it when I saw these ads for the first time. I mean, they actually insult you - they tell you that you are too dump to choose a suitable bicycle or fit a roof rack, and as such you had better let the "experts" handle it unless you want bad things to happen. Well, fuck you Halfords, I can do both those things, and your insults have ensured I never buy from you again. Ever.
When life sucks
10:54 p.m. Friday, June 20, 2003
Just been reading a few other blogs (thanks Tsubaki, hi Mr. Pessimist)... man, some people are depressed :-)
I know, life can suck at times. There have been times when I tried my damnedest to do something, and circumstances out of my control stopped me. Still, it's all a question of what has any real meaning.
Ever see Fight Club? You are not your job. You are not your condo with sweedish furnature. You are not how much money you make, or what car you drive, or where you live etc. It's a nihilists favorite, and a view I subscribe to. Check out this site. The final word is the one of the ultimate and inescapable truths of nihilism: I am nothing. Literally, nothing can define me.
How does this fit with everyday life, or the existential view that a person defines themself entirely by their actions? Well, consider that, no matter what happens in your life, it is an external event that you react to, no something that makes you. You decide on your reaction to it, defining your essence, that thing which makes you uninque and is the only possible definition of you, but which is also impossible to define.
This rather solipsist view point gives me a lot of strength. Only I can judge my own actions and the impact they have in relation to myself. Sure, I value others oppinions, but only because I choose to. Of course, I sometimes and upset because I judge myself to have failed, but that feeling is something only I can create.
Winterheart's Guild
10:44 p.m. Friday, June 20, 2003
CD101.com finally sent me the latest Sonata Arctica album after a delay of about three months! Winterheart's Guild was well worth the wait though, it's amazing... the standard Sonata mix of power ballads and metal, and what's more they maintained the same fantastic level of lyric writing as before...
Only thing that struck me was that maybe there were less solos and twidly bits (as a mate of mine calls them) than other albums, but I only listened once so I'll reserve judgement on that.
Reality vs. perception
06:30 p.m. Friday, June 20, 2003
I feel like writing something about reality vs. what we perceive. To be honest, it's impossible to tell if there is an external reality (which is quite worrying if anything bad ever happens to you), but lets assume for a moment there is.
Clearly, out senses are limited. For example, we can only see what is in front of us, or hear what is relatively close to us. This simple truth means that we cannot know all the events and changes that happen in the world, only those immediately around us or that we hear of through a third party (assuming we can trust that party to give an accurate, unbiased account).
Even those things we can perceive around us may not be exactly as they seem. Consider special effects in films, or the fact that natural gas is odorless. Our senses can be fooled, and they can't detect everything anyway.
Clearly, we have to make some assumptions about reality just to live, but if we could really "know" it there would be no accidents or unpredictable events. Thus, our ideas about how the world is are always flawed to some extent, which raises some difficult questions about the assumptions we make based on them.
Clarification
12:37 p.m. Friday, June 20, 2003
I just wanted to clarify myself on my last entry.
Take something most people consider to be very important: life. Does it matter if I die? In a cosmic sense, no. The universe will carry on fine without me, although of course the universe itself has no value, it simply exists. However, people around me would be upset, and personally I don't really want to die right now, so there is some value to my life. The point is, it's value that I and others create - it's all in our minds, in our humanity. Thus, the only reason to live is that humanity.
Life has no meaning
04:03 p.m. Wednesday, June 18, 2003
That kind of sounds like a negative thing to say, but it actually comforts me quite a bit.
Lets start with some reasoning. I'll discount God right away; there is simply no evidence to suggest that he exists or has any influence over events. So, what about reproduction? Our instincts tell us to do it, but does that make it our purpose in life? Consider that if the first single cell life form that existed on earth had not been able to reproduce, life would have ended there. In fact, it probably did. Eventually, one came along that could multiply, and evolution took over until we came to the present day. This, reproduction is a requirement of inteligent life, since we could never have evolved to this point unless it were possible. Thus, it does not add meaning to life, it's just a part of it like eating or sleeping.
What about bettering yourself, furthering the human race or finding happyness? I think they are noble causes, but not necessarily ones that add any meaning to our existance. In the scheme of things, the individual is so small as to be meaningless. On a cosmic scale, our actions have almost no effect. On a more local level, it is true that some individuals can have a great effect on others, and on the direction of humanity. However, even that is a very limited amount of power - in 100 years most will be forgotten, and in 1000 almost all influence will have dissapeared.
Finding happyness may still have some merit, but I will come to that. Let's just consider for now that life has no inherrent meaning, and the individual no purpose. So, what to do, why live? Well, the only releif from this terrible realisation is distraction. It does not matter that everything is, in the end, worthless and that there is no real reason to carry on living if you are distracted by your life.
Let me just clarify that when I say "carry on living", I do not necessarily mean suicide. Suicide has a negative effect on those who care about you, and your own personal feelings would thus probably prevent you from choosing it. Instead, I mean to live by action, rather than be totally inactive and do nothing. While it is the inescapable truth that what you do will be meaningless in a cosmic sense, as long as it provides you with distraction it's worth doing. Thus, the only thing to do in life is to find things to experience. Even "bad" experiences are useful, as they provide some emotional engagement.
This is why I said I would come back to happyness. Most people would prefer to be happy than to be sad, so in seeking out distraction tend to aim for those that will make them happy. Experiencing emotion is the only thing to do, so it might as well be nice emotions. Any emotion is worth experiencing though.
So, how does this comfort me? Well, I used to think that I should do something with my life. I'm 23 now, and have not really achived a whole lot. I suppose I have my education and some projects I worked on, but I didn't change the world or land that £50000/year job. I have found someone to love yet either. I have not failed though, as it is impossible to do so. I have come to realise that it doesn't matter if I do anything noteworthy, or work the rest of my life at a low paid job. As long as I can distract myself, experience things and do what I want to, it's okay. The pressure to be someone has gone. I am nothing, not defined by any of these meaningless things, and only accountable to myself.
Of course, these nihilistic ideas can be dangerious, because then tend to promote asocial behaviour (i.e. do what you want, ignoring society). However, I think that it's possible to combine them with huamistic ideas to produce a concept by which it is possible to live your life. I'll write about that at some point soon.
An explanation
04:05 p.m. Monday, June 16, 2003
George Orwell wrote 1984 in 1948. It was supposed to be a warning, sadly it seems to have been a manual for those wishing to gain power.
Many of things terrible things Orwell talked about have come to pass. For example, it seems that Big Brother really is watching everyone now. CCTV is everywhere. Speed cameras and the London traffic cameras are being used to identify (and presumably log) the number plates of cars for police use. Recent changes in the law have made it much easier to intercept private communications, and communication providers are now required to keep records for years.
Thought-crime is now a reality too. People who are deemed to be spreading "terrorist" ideas are being arrested under laws passed since 9/11. Consider Martin Galloway MP, for example, whose only proven "crime" was to speak out against the war in Iraq, even while out troops were there. Sure, I don't agree with some of these people, but it's totally and utterly wrong to make their ideas an offence punishable by the law. Treason by thought or opinion is an impossible crime.
Even double-think is evident nowadays. For example, the CIA funded and trained Osama Bin-Laden, yet now America considers him the worst enemy they have. They know they were once supporting him, but at the same time they think he is evil.
I suppose it doesn't help that morons seem to run the world. Bush can't even form a coherent sentence half the time. Calling North Korea part of the "axis of evil" really helped the situation. Thing is, there seem to be some clever people surrounding these morons, who are bent on maintaining their own power and authority. Just like Goering said, just like in 1984, they do it with a perpetual war: the war on terrorism. But hay, it's only a matter of time until "terrorism" surrenders, isn't it?
The day after
12:31 p.m. Monday, June 16, 2003
I have noticed a disturbing trend. Most weekends, there is a computer fair near me: Portsmouth, Southampton, Fareham or Chichester. Car boot sales with computer stuff too. So, if I need something, I go to one, and look for it. Got some DVD-Rs yesterday.
Of course, now it's Monday, I instantly realise I need something else. In this case, and Intel NIC. I have one, but it doesn't support the packet queuing software they provide. New ones are about £35... Thing is, this happens over and over again, every single time I got to a fair. I can't explain it.
First post!
05:31 p.m. Sunday, June 15, 2003
Okay, just finished hand editing the HTML - the provided layouts are not so hot. Feel free to steel my code if you like it.
I'm going to use this kind of like a log of my thoughts and ideas, as well as a general log of my life. I'll do a "my life so far" type entry at some point, just in case anyone stumbles on this.
For now, enjoy this variation on a theme I saw posted in a Slashdot comment:
In The Third Age 3018
War was beginning.
Gandalf: What happen ?
Aragorn: Somebody set up us the bomb.
Legolas: We get signal.
Gandalf: What !
Aragorn: Palinteer turn on.
Gandalf: It's You !!
Saruman: How are you gentlemen !!
Saruman: All your Helm's Deep are belong to us.
Saruman: You are on the way to destruction.
Gandalf: What you say !!
Saruman: You have no chance to survive make your time.
Saruman: HA HA HA HA ....
Gandalf: Take off every 'orc' !!
Gandalf: You know what you doing.
Gandalf: Move 'orc'.
Gandalf: For great justice.
If you have no idea what that is about, look here.
MoJo-chan is 23 and lives in the UK. He believes in a humanistic form of existential nihilism. Current favorite band is power metal outfit Sonata Arctica and mostly watches Love Hina and Chobits.
Quote:
Voice or no voice, the people can always be brought to the bidding of the leaders. That is easy. All you have to do is tell them they are being attacked, and denouce the peacemakers for lack of patriotism and exposing the country to danger.
- Herman Goering